The Father’s Heart for Your Sexuality – Part 1 – Discretion (Proverbs 5:1-6)

“My son, be attentive to my wisdom; incline your ear to my understanding, that you may keep discretion, and your lips may guard knowledge. For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil, but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps follow the path to Sheol; she does not ponder the path of life; her ways wander, and she does not know it.” — Proverbs 5:1-6

This is the kind of talk every parent should have with their child about sex. In Proverbs 5, the father makes it clear that sex is both powerful and good by design. Yet for the power and goodness of sex to bring life, it must be reserved for marriage.

God cares about your sexuality because he cares about you. What you do with your body matters. God created you as a human being, soul and body mysteriously connected. He also created you either male or female, designed for a complimentary role in sex with the opposite gender. Since he created you and he created sex, he defines the boundaries of your sexuality. Sex is designed by God to happen between one man and one woman within the covenant of marriage. This is where sexual fulfillment is found, as the two become one. The couple gives their body and soul to one another in a safe and committed relationship. Outside of these bounds, sex threatens your spiritual and physical well-being.

This is what the father is telling his son in these verses. “Listen, son, I know your sin-nature is going to desire what you can’t have. But, listen to me, that is a dead end and a trap. Don’t just follow your heart. You need to think through the consequences of your actions. You need to guard the truth of God’s word in your sexuality.”


The Father’s heart for your sexuality is discretion. Discretion is circumspection and the ability to make responsible decisions. A person who is circumspect is careful to consider all circumstances and possible consequences. God’s desire is that you approach sex with circumspection. You should really think through to the end of your actions. Will this end in joy or pain? And you are not just supposed to consider today, tomorrow, or next week. You should contemplate your entire life. What will this decision do to your faith and your relationship with God? Who will this hurt or help?

Appearance Versus Reality

These verses focus especially on avoiding adultery. God acknowledges that forbidden sex is really appealing to fallen humanity. He says the lips of the forbidden woman drip honey and her speech is smoother than oil. Like sweet food, the forbidden person tempts your appetite.

Also like sweet food, the forbidden person does not actually satisfy your appetite. What you need is protein, vitamins, minerals, fiber, and all the nutrients that come from whole foods. Even though the sweet food might taste so good going down, it ultimately hurts you.

What appears to be sweet and satisfying, in the end, is bitter and deadly. Superficial sexual relationships based on lust never live up to their billing. They only work to create confusion, pain, brokenness, and death. Like the two-edged sword, forbidden sex both stabs and strikes: a weapon designed to efficiently kill its victims.

Satan Wants to Kill You

Satan wants to kill you, and forbidden sex is one of his favorite weapons. So, listen to the Father’s heart to have discretion. Do not listen to the one tempting you. People given over to sexual sin are lost and do not even realize it. They are on the path to death and have forgotten to even consider the path of life.

Rather, consider the life God wants to give you. Consider the promises attached to obedience and marital faithfulness. If you are trapped in sexual sin today, God wants you to return to him, repent of your sin, and find life in Jesus Christ. In Christ’s death, your guilt and shame are removed, if you place your faith in him. Only do not delay: spiritual death is the final outcome of your sin. Get off the path to death and return to the path of life.

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